WalkingTorah - Parashat Toldot (Genesis 25:19-28:9)

WalkingTorah

Where ancient lessons guide modern life

Parashat Toldot פרשת תולדות

November 14, 2015 ב' כסלו תשע”ו

Among the many revolutionary ideas conceived during the time of the American Revolution, one which had a particularly Jewish flavor to it was the notion that the social status of one’s father was no longer relevant. In other words, Americans did not care where you came from, nor who your family was. There was no concept of hereditary title, no idea of formally receiving honor due to one’s heritage. In the new nation of America, what was important was where you were going, and where you ended up.

A similar idea appears in a comment on a story told in Parashat Toldot. After many years of trying to conceive, Isaac and Rebecca become pregnant with not one, but two sons (Esau and Jacob). But there is something strange about Rebecca’s pregnancy. As the Torah describes it: “But the children struggled in her womb, and she said, ‘If so, why do I exist?’ She went to enquire of the Lord” (Genesis 25:22). What, exactly, did she enquire of God?, asks Rashi (Rabbi Shlomo ben Yitzchak, 11th-12th c., Troyes, France; Worms, Germany). Citing a rabbinic legend which has the infant Esau struggling to exit the womb when his mother passed by a house of idol worship, and the infant Jacob attempting the same when passing a house of Torah study, Rashi answers that Rebecca, who did not yet know that she was carrying twins, was extremely distraught over her apparently schizophrenic child. According to Rashi, Rebecca enquired of God the following: “What will be the final status of my child?” In other words, which path will he choose - the path of evil, or the path of good? How will he end up?

This struggle between doing evil, or doing good, is a struggle which each of us goes through our entire lives, says R’ Simcha Bunim of Peshischa (18th-19th c., Przysucha, Poland). The fight between our evil inclination (or, more materially-focused inclination) and good inclination (or, more spiritually-focused inclination) is never over; we can never say that we have finally vanquished our desire to do wrong. (Surprising as it may be, it is not always our evil inclination which trips us up; sometimes our good inclination can be the source of trouble! Just think of a parent who can’t say no to his child. The parent wants his child to be happy, but it is the child’s dentist who is most happy, when the parent’s efforts to bring happiness instead bring on many cavities from sweets.) What is much more important than where a person has come from, more important than whether he struggles with his baser desires, is where is he at now?, and in which direction is he headed? As R’ Simcha Bunim puts it, sometimes the evil inclination lands a blow, while other times the good inclination lands a blow. The key question is, who landed the final blow?

Similar to America’s Founding Fathers’ philosophy, Judaism is more concerned with where one is going than with where one has come from. We all struggle with doing the right thing. There is no shame in periodically losing a struggle with our evil inclination, and we dare not be discouraged for long. We must continue to move forward. We must continue the daily fight to become better people. May we be blessed that when our time on earth is finished, those with whom we came into contact will look back on our lives and be able to say of us, “He fought a good fight to become the best person he could be. His struggle was successful. He ended up in a very good place.”

(Based on ב. יאושזון, מאוצרנו הישן - בראשית, p. 126.)

Rabbi Aryeh A. Leifert is originally from Teaneck, New Jersey. He served as an Assistant Rabbi and Judaics Studies principal in San Antonio, Texas from 2006-2009. In 2009, he moved to Israel with his family, where he works as a licensed tour guide for individuals, couples, families of all ages, groups, schools, and religious institutions. He also offers Virtual Tours of Israel through the internet. He may be reached via his website, WalkingIsrael.com.

WalkingTorah - Parashat Chayei Sarah (Genesis 23:1-25:18)

WalkingTorah

Where ancient lessons guide modern life

Parashat Chayei Sarah פרשת חיי שרה

November 7, 2015 כ"ה מרחשון תשע”ו

“Choose your battles.” How often have we been told this, and how often have we told this to others, when dealing with a situation where, though we might be in the right, is just not worth the aggravation which will result, nor worth the damage which might be caused to a relationship? “Choose your battles” means that there are certain things which are more important than being right. As one who surrenders his right of way at an intersection might say, “I’d rather be alive than right.”

This concept is illustrated by an incident based on the first story described in Parashat Chayei Sarah. After his beloved wife Sarah has died, Abraham comes before the local Canaanite tribe, the Hittites, and asks for their help in securing an appropriate burial place for her. “Bury your dead in the choicest of our burial places,” the Hittites insist (Genesis 23:6). Abraham offers thanks for their generosity, and sets an example for future generations of Jews, who have since endeavored to give their loved ones a fitting and dignified final resting place. Not just any place will do.

But there are some things which are more important than being buried in the “choicest of burial places,” says Rav Moshe Idel of Ponevezh (Panevėžys, Lithuania). He recounts an incident where two Jews came before him, arguing over a burial plot. There were two plots in dispute, and each claimant insisted that he had purchased the more desirable location. Back and forth they went arguing, and no easy solution presented itself. Rav Moshe thought about each petitioner’s claim, and then rendered his decision: The one who died first would be buried in the better-placed grave.

The litigants immediately stopped quarreling. All of a sudden, neither wished to win the case.

Some things in life are certainly worth fighting for. Whether it is fighting to preserve eternal values, or fighting on behalf of justice for the downtrodden, or fighting for the freedom of those being persecuted, there are many worthy causes which demand our commitment. But let us be very careful when choosing what to fight over, and what to let be. May we be blessed with the wisdom and foresight to be able to take a step back from a situation and say, “I may be in the right here, but the price I’ll pay for winning is just not worth it.”

(Story of Rav Moshe Idel cited in ב. יאושזון, מאוצרנו הישן - בראשית, p. 106)

Rabbi Aryeh A. Leifert is originally from Teaneck, New Jersey. He served as an Assistant Rabbi and Judaics Studies principal in San Antonio, Texas from 2006-2009. In 2009, he moved to Israel with his family, where he works as a licensed tour guide for individuals, couples, families of all ages, groups, schools, and religious institutions. He also offers Virtual Tours of Israel through the internet. He may be reached via his website, WalkingIsrael.com.